A lot of people might think me mad for defending Monday. After all, Monday has held the ‘worst day of the week’ title for many years now. But I’d like to put an end to it. Because I’ve come to the conclusion that in fact, Tuesday might just pip Monday to the post as the worst day of the week.
You see, Monday still holds the memories of the weekend clearly (or not so clearly, depending on what you got up to). Saturday’s new shoes still sparkle in their box, Saturday night’s cheat treat takeaway is still the best thing you’ve tasted all week, the thought of Sunday morning’s lazy pyjamas and tea and duvet and book still send you into a fresh dreamy state, and you’re free to tell people all about the frivolity and joy of the past couple of days, because people ask.
Nobody asks on a Tuesday. By Tuesday, the weekend might as well have not existed.
On a Monday, everyone shares their depression about the fact that it’s Monday. People are united in their misery, there’s a support network. The wrenching of your gut that occurred when your alarm went off this morning, it wasn’t just you, others felt it too. And everyone needs a hot cup of caffeine, altogether. Well, because it’s Monday of course.
You have to keep it to yourself on a Tuesday. Well, if you were to let it out on a Tuesday, what’s to stop you from expressing your melancholic thoughts on a Wednesday or a Thursday? And no-one wants to go to lunch with a Debbie Downer, especially not on a Tuesday.
Monday is full of optimism. It’s a new week, it could be your week – all those jobs and bits and bobs you put off doing last week, Monday has given you a second chance at completing them. Eating healthily always begins on a Monday, a kick start to the new you, and you’ve succeeded in borderline starvation for a whole day because it’s Monday and you can do this!
Tuesday makes you fail. On Tuesday, realisation kicks in that you’re the same you, still putting stuff off until tomorrow. You need a bag of Malteasers to cheer you up, and then you’ve failed twice already. And it’s only Tuesday.
I suppose there is one good thing about Tuesday. Tuesday means that soon it will be Wednesday. And boy are you happy to see Wednesday.